I just finished watching this movie called “Big Miracle.” It’s about a family of whales stuck in the middle of nowhere near Barrow, Alaska. To be honest, I cried when the baby whale died. I’m such a softy. The movie was good and I like animals. I just don’t like it when they die. Ugh. I’m still crying lol, well, it’s not for the same reason. I was thinking about a lot of stuff lately and crying makes it better, for a few hours or until I fall asleep.
I cry myself to sleep most nights and I used to find it disturbing, but I’m getting used to it now. It’s a new addition to my nightly routine, lol. I’m sucn a weirdo. Anyway, I’ve been under a lot of stress lately because I have 3 exams coming and a quiz. I’ve been slacking off and I’m trying hard to catch up. Hating college life right now. I haven’t been thinking about any relationship related stuff, I guess I’m over it for now. I still hate myself though, I feel like I’m not good enough for a lot of stuff, even if I try hard I still come up short. I don’t let it get me down, but it gets tiring. I should take it easy, thank goodness Winter break is coming up. Yay!
I should probably sleep now. I dont have class tomorrow, but I still have to wake up early to clean my room and stuff, so yeah.
I think I have at least 5 crushes. I don’t even know how or why, I just do. I guess I see bits of stuff I like in a guy on those 5 guys. I’ll call them guy 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. How original.
Anyway, guy 1 has this cute smile that makes me smile whenever he does. He looks adorable and I really can’t get enough of it. Guy 2 can sing and play guitar. I’m a sucker for guys who can sing and play guitar, he’s cute and funny too. Guy 3 is a sweetheart. He says all these sweet things whenever we talk and he cares a lot. I wonder why? Guy 4 is hot! Muy caliente! He has these gorgeous biceps, and hard rock abs. I haven’t seen his abs, but I felt it. Omg… Guy 5, he’s just a plain simple guy. He’s actually my student coach on campus. I’m like 2 years older than him, but talking to him is fun. We can talk for hours.
Sounds like I’m a whore, but they’re only crushes. Put all that characteristic, traits, personality, etc. in one guy, I’ll have him, maybe? Hopefully? Oh well. I guess this is what it’s like being single for years. Sigh… I’ll just wait or something, but for now… hihihi
One thing I noticed about myself when I started college 4 years ago is that I’m like a night owl. I hate morning classes or waking up early, I know most college students feel the same way, but I find myself unable to concentrate in the morning. I don’t pay attention at all, I slack on my class work, and I don’t give a shit what the professor is talking about. I don’t even study during the day. I usually start studying late in the afternoon when the sun is setting. I study until 1 or 2 in the morning and I don’t sleep until 3 or 4.
It’s odd, but I got used to it. I do lose some sleep, but somehow I manage to survive each day. Sometimes I think that the reason why I’m like this is because of my sleeping schedule. I could change it, but that’d be a hassle. I’ll just have to live with it until I graduate… soon. Lol.
Hi! My name’s Carissa, some people call me Yza (ee-sa), and I’m 21. This blog is dedicated to my random thoughts and feelings each night I feel emotional and worthless. Have fun! Well, maybe not… Enjoy, I guess.